What I Need – Heather Donnell & Ben Spencer
Copyright © 2009 | Ee-Taow Records | EMI Publishing

I’ve been quick on my feet
But slow to sit at yours
I thought I’d come so far
Still I’m longing for more

What I need is new life
What I seek is to know Christ
I am tired and worn from trying on my own
So I fall on my knees again

Loves are promising
Distractions surround me
At times I cannot see
Still I hear you beckoning

It is your silent voice
That’s louder than the noise
Your words I need to hear
I will wait and draw near

What I need and what I know
What I seek is the same
Jesus Christ and Him alone
Foundation of my soul

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I’ve been remade, I’m no longer hollow
A real man came, changed everything that I know
He gave me truth, that’s a hard pill to swallow
He gave me new commands, and he freed me up to follow

-Trip Lee, Robot

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Submission is an attitude of the heart before it is an action. God desires us to submit to Him and not react to circumstances. The opposite of submission is rebellion. The attitude of submission is total. God places over us rightful authority for our own good. They may anger us when we do not possess a submitted attitude. God does not check with us to make sure we will like whatever our God-ordained authority has to say. God works His peace into our lives as we submit to proper human and spiritual authority. You can be sure that someone will come along to reveal pockets of rebellion and reaction still in us all! Submitting to God is impossible when we do not know Jesus Christ. When we actively submit to God’s will, we identify with Jesus Christ’s death on the cross. -Paul Johansson

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I’ve noticed that not hanging out with Jesus really does affect my mood.

Today, I didn’t open the Bible. Today, I didn’t worship. Today, I didn’t speak to God.

Today, I was angry. Today, I was sad.

Today was pretty bad.


Because I didn’t make Jesus a part of my day, but I made today about myself.

Therefore, I made my flesh increase (and I’m pretty sure the Bible talks about how we should decrease), and I didn’t open up my life for the Spirit to move.

So today was all about me. And therefore, was an awful day.

I woke up, expecting to face today on my own.

So, even though I didn’t hang out with God and my day was pretty awful, I still have that revelation.

It’s so cool seeing God’s grace unfold!

His love covers every multitude of sin.

Imagine how deep sin is. But if his love covers it, how much deeper is his love for us for it to cover sin? Pretty deep! Deeper than any sin in the world!


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You’re Blessed

You got a new phone. “I am blessed!”

You got a new job. “I am blessed!”

You have a new relationship. “I am blessed!”

Everything right is falling into place. “I am blessed!”

Even though these can be considered blessings, blessings originate from God. They do not unfold from life. They do not come from circumstances. Everything that is good, everything that is perfect, it comes from God. James 1:17.

However, what if it seems that blessings are scarce? It may seem dark in your life, and you hear everyone talking about how blessed they are. But you ask yourself, “What about me? Where are my blessings? As of right now, I’m just going with the flow. I’m seeing more hardship than blessings. When will it be my turn?”

Well, the greatest thing about that is that you still are.

“WHAT?! Katie….Tell me how I am blessed because I sure don’t see any blessings in my life.”

Okay, before you get all huffed up about this, let’s take a gander at Psalm 144.

“Blessed are the people whose God is the Lord!” Psalm 144:15b

That’s right. You are blessed because God is the Lord. He is yours. He is your refuge. He is your strength. He is your Father. He is patient with you. He is slow to anger.

Therefore….you are blessed.

Who else would treat you the way He treats you? There’s absolutely no one that can measure up to His worth. You are blessed because He is your God.

You are not blessed due to your circumstances. Life circumstances do not take away or add onto your blessed life. Just because you see the lack of blessings in your life does not mean that you are not blessed. Through the scarcity of blessings in your life, you are still blessed. You are blessed because your God is the Lord. The Lord who reigns in your hearts, the Lord who reigns in your life. He is so intimately connected with you and everything that unfolds in your life. And because he is God at all times, you are blessed at all times.

Wow! So, through the lack of blessings that are in your life, you are still blessed! Because God remains your Lord forever!

Remember that.

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I Never Said That!

“Let’s play telephone!” exclaimed my friend Jacob.

We were all at a restaurant for my birthday. We just finished eating, so we were sitting there talking and relaxing. It wasn’t but a moment of silence when Jacob thought of this “wonderful” idea.

Really? I thought to myself. It’s such a silly game. I don’t see the point of it.

But, of course, everyone thought it was a fun idea, so I went with the flow.

If you haven’t played the telephone game before, it’s a game where one person has a “secret.” They then have to whisper it in a person’s ear, and that person has to say it in another person’s ear. This continues until it reaches the last person and the last person has to tell us what the original message was.

Jacob started off the game since it was his idea. He sat there for a few seconds, deep in thought, trying to think of this great kept secret that he had stored up in his mind for years! Finally, he gets a huge smile on his face and says, “Got it!” He then leans over to his left and whispers into the ear of the person next to him.

I watch as my friends went around the circle whispering into each other’s ears. I saw some looks of confusion, heard spurts of giggling, and a few moments of feigned confidence.

And then it was my turn.

My friend, who was sitting adjacent to me, looked at me a with smirk on her face and asked, “Are you ready? Don’t mess up!”

The pressure was on.

The ball was in my courts.

It was all up to me to remember what the original phrase was. How distorted and twisted that message may be after going around in a circle, I still had to tell the whole group what I heard.

My friend leans towards me to whisper in my ear. After she was done, she leaned back in her chair, raised her eyebrows, and had a huge smile on her face.

I looked at her. I looked at my group of friends. I looked back at her.  I’m sure my facial expression had a look of confusion. And I said, in an attempt to sound confident but my voice came out in a high-pitched squeak, “Was the phrase, ‘Hippos are purple’?”

My friends burst out laughing and Jacob, unable to catch his breath, said, “I said, ‘Happy birthday, Katie.’”

See how one primary message can be twisted and distorted when it’s spread?

It’s the same way with gossip.

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” Psalm 19:14. When I share a secret with someone, and they tell another person and that person tells another, that message and secret can be totally different from what I had originally said. I want my words to be okay with God. I don’t want to gossip and say anything that can come off as offensive to the Lord.

I want my words to become sweet like chocolate and not bitter to God. Gossip doesn’t taste too good in the mouth, but bitter. Gossip doesn’t bring pleasure to God, but it hurts Him and those He loves.

Think About It!

  • When was the last time, which you can think of that you spread a secret?
  • Did they ever find out? If so, how did they react? And if they didn’t find out, imagine that they did. How would that affect your friendship?
  • How do you think that would make God feel? Be honest!
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It’ll Be Okay

        Ever woken up on the wrong side of the bed? I remember there was a morning just a few weeks ago where I woke up feeling pretty bad.  I went around the day being rude to my friends and to others just because Katie Jedamski (ahem…in case you didn’t know….that’s me) was having a bad day. I didn’t care what I said or did to anyone, because it was all about me!

I said mean things.

I gave dirty looks.

I gave silent treatments.

I had a I-gave-a-huff-and-a-puff-and-I’ll-blow-your-house-down kind of attitude.

Think of anything else which was considered unpleasant and I probably did it! I was miserable! And the weirdest thing is I didn’t even know why I was having such a tough day!

I remember I was walking back to my dorm later that night to get ready for bed, I heard God say, “Peace I give to you, not as the world give do I give to you.” I stopped right in my tracks.

        God gives me peace? I thought to myself, Even when I’m miserable? Where was this supposedly peace earlier today? Because I sure didn’t feel it! And I continued to walk.

And I realized something right as I said that: The reason why I didn’t see God’s peace is that I didn’t take a moment to take a hold of that peace that God has already given to me. You can’t receive a gift if you don’t take it. Did your parents ever given you a gift and you didn’t take it? You can’t receive a birthday present or a Christmas present if you do not take a hold of it and unwrap it. God’s peace is a gift that is waiting to be unwrapped.

The peace that God has given to us is there for the taking. He’s already given it to us. “Peace I give to you.” It’s not to be given in the future, but it’s already been given. Even if you don’t take it, it’s still there to be waiting to be grasped.

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Being Empty

So many times, I am taken back by how much I strive in my relationship with Christ. I’m no expert in just resting in His Presence. I like to be busy and I like to be in control.

“God, use me!” is my heart cry, but then when He does, I go back in my shell. Why? Various reasons. One, control. I want to be in control. Second, fear. I’m scared of Him using me when I don’t know what He’s going to do with me. And even that goes back to me being in control, because I want to be in control of where go and I don’t want Someone who’s bigger to lead me into the unknown. I want to know where I’m going! I don’t want to be second-guessing of where else I’m going to go.  

So the question that I have to ask myself is this: Do I fully trust God with my life? For years, I would say, “Of course I do!” But it wasn’t until this past year that God revealed to me that I don’t. I don’t fully trust Him. Because if I fully did trust Him, why do all my answers to Him seem to be “no”? 

He’s been asking me for the past few years, “Katie, do you trust Me?”

And my answer is always, “Yes.”

But just a few months ago, He asked again. “Katie…..do you really trust Me?”

“No. I don’t.”

“Why do you not trust Me?”

“Because. Because I don’t want to be empty. I don’t want to be vulnerable. If I put all of my trust in You, I’m gong to be empty. I will have nothing to hold onto when I put everything…and I mean, everything…..into Your hands. My friends, my life, my emotions, my circumstances. I have to give You all of those, God, and I’m scared. Actually, scared isn’t even the word to describe how I’m feeling. I’m petrified. I don’t know where You’re going to take me, I don’t know where You’re leading me. I want to trust You. I want to fully trust You, God, but I need to have something that I can hold onto when things get tough. And when things do get tough, being vulnerable before You is scary. I want to rely on my own strength to get through tough times. Relying on someone fully and not relying on myself makes me scared. I want to be in control.”

“Perfect love casts out all fear, Katie,” God gently whispered to me. “I want you to be empty before Me because that’s when I can fill you. When your hands are so tightly grasped onto other things besides what I have for you, it makes it difficult for you to open up your hands so that I can fill them. When you are empty, I’m going to do a filling. Whatever you go through, Katie, I am your strength. I am your Defender. You are my Daughter and nothing will ever come against you and make you fall because I won’t let them. If your God is for you, who can stand against you? Who, Katie? No one. I am Strength. I am your Provider. Let go of the things. Practice walking in the trust. Practice trusting in Me. I will never leave you. I will never forget about you. So when you are scared, when you are anxious of trusting in Me, know that I will never hurt you. I will never abandon you. I will never leave you as an orphan. I have adopted you. I have already chosen you long before you chose Me. Long before you even became aware of Me as your Father, as your Savior. You keep saying you want to rely on your own strength, but your flesh will fail. So when your strength fails, where does that leave you? Do not rely on your strength, My Daughter, but rely on your Father’s. I go before you. I pave the paths for you. I stand with you. Do not fear. I have said this repeatedly in my Word to you so that you will not live in fear because I already dealt with it all on the cross. You are mine. I am for you and will never be against you.”


Why fear when my God goes before me? I have been on the road to emptying myself before God. And though it’s hard to go through in trusting Him with my fullest, I know that I don’t ever want to trust in myself or anyone else with my life. God is the place where I would rather put all my trust in, because He will never fail me. 

He wants to fill you. He wants to do great and mighty things in your life. Let go of the things that you are holding onto. He is faithful when you are not. He is strong when you are not. He is good when you are not. 

Fully trust your Father. He paid a highest price for you. 


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He’s Worth It

During the summer, before my senior year at Bible college, God challenged me with something that He wanted to see unfold in my life for my senior year.

“I want you to get up every morning, before all of your classes and before your day begins, and hang out with Me.”

I laughed. “Are you kidding me?” I replied. “God, do You realize what You’re asking of me? For the first time since being a college student, I have ALL my mornings off! And….I hate mornings. I am NOT a morning person.”

Silence. Didn’t hear from Him until a day later, when He showed me in image of me in the prayer room that is on campus and I was worshiping and digging into the Word. And I heard Him say, “”This is what I want for your senior year. That whatever comes your way, you won’t care because you have Me.”

So, of course, I was planning to do it. School started back up at the end of August. However, I forgot what He told me during the summer. But for some odd reason, I kept waking up at around 7:30 and 8 in the morning every single day. And every single morning, God would whisper, “Get up. Get in My Presence.”

No need for an alarm clock, because God’s doing a great job being one 🙂

So, I’ve been doing it. I can’t even sleep in anymore, not even on weekends. And instead of complaining, I’m glad!

Today, however, has been rough already! I don’t want to get up! I just want to stay in my comfy bed and sleep. But then He spoke to me in the early hours of this morning and said, “Am I worth it?”

I responded, “You are so worth it. I will get up, because You are worthy and You deserve all praise.”

Wow. Transformation of the mind, right? I had such a bad attitude before, actually annoyed that I had to hang out with God in the morning. So selfish! Of all that God has done for me, I can’t even hang out with Him for one hour out of a 24 hour day? Seriously? What has caused us to turn away from God? What has caused us not to make Him everything?

I find that I’m more joyful, more outgoing, more at peace, when I hang out with Him in the mornings.

My God is worth it. All that I do, all that comes my way, He’s still worth it. He’s still worth being fought for. Through my emotions, through my stress, through my shortcomings…He is worth it. Earnestly will I seek Him. I look forward to every morning just hanging out with Him.

Who is God to you? Is He worth it?

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“Caught Dreaming”
(feat. For King & Country)

I’m caught dreaming
Someone greater than me
And the colors seem
A burning tree speaking to me,
I’m caught dreaming.

[Verse 1:]
Why waste my breath singing words of praise
That are filled with myself? Who’s greater?
What love do I have that you didn’t give
Cause all that I am is a product of grace.
And what should I trust, your love for me
Or my love for you? Who’s greater?

I’m caught dreaming
Someone greater than me
And the colors seem
A burning tree speaking to me,
I’m caught dreaming,
Someone greater than me
Bringing liberty
The burning tree is saving me,
I’m caught dreaming.

[Verse 2:]
Yeah, mouth full of praise, I love you so much
What an empty phrase, really I’m more amazed
How in spite of how I fail to do what you command to
Serve other gods like Baal, you never bail,
That’s illogical devotion, could it really be
You chose to die for the sinner when nothing was good in me.
You never left me, even when the darkest days began
Nor forget me, only thing you’re forgetting is my sin.
I wanna make it to the end, let me remain faithful,
All because you’re faithful in me, yeah, I’m grateful.
My mistakes can never stop me, choice you make to adopt me,
The holes in your hands are the proof that you’ll never drop me.

I’m caught dreaming
Someone greater than me
And the colors seem
A burning tree speaking to me,
I’m caught dreaming,
Someone greater than me
Bringing liberty
The burning tree is saving me,
I’m caught dreaming.

I could sing how I love you, love you,
But your love for me is much greater.
And I could sing how I love you, love you,
But your love for me is much greater.

I’m caught dreaming
Someone greater than me
And the colors seem
A burning tree speaking to me,
I’m caught dreaming,
Someone greater than me
Bringing liberty
The burning tree is saving me,
I’m caught dreaming.

“Caught Dreaming” Andy Mineo ft. For King & Country


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